I am a middle-aged gay man who finds himself unrequitedly infatuated with a younger man. I recently accepted the fact that it is hopeless and simply want to move on and get over him. But how can you get over an infatuation? BB
Now why does everyone ask me about unrequited infatuation? Seriously, there is a way to get over a crush, and while you may feel you're infatuated, obsessed, or in love, the fact is you're probably just in crush. I remember asking someone the same question once and I was told "You don't get over an infatuation. You just enjoy the fantasy." It sounded like a good answer at the time but it's completely inaccurate. Here's how you get over a crush.
First, stop hanging around the object of your affection, which you know you're doing way too much. Seeing him may be the highlight of your day, but you have to move on. Throw out your pictures of him, delete the ones on your hard drive, and cut him out of your life as much as possible. You've gotten past the first hurdle -- you've accepted that it's just not gonna happen. Now do the next sensible thing and get on with your life. Bless him and let him go!
Get yourself out there meeting new men! The easiest way to forget about the wrong guy is to meet the right one. Meet guys online, go on dates, frequent bars where you're more likely to find men who are your type and in your age range. Guys can be hot even in middle-age or older! You don't need the younger ones, baby! (Of course if you meet a younger guy who likes older men, okay, but that obviously hasn't happened here.)
I know, I know. You think you can't live without the one you think of nearly every hour of every day. You spend most of your time day-dreaming about the future with him that you know you won't have. Enough of that already! You may be feeling some heartbreak and disappointment, sure, but look at it this way. Think of all the people out there who lose spouses and partners that they've been with for decades. If you keep it in perspective you'll realize that what you're going through, while difficult, is a lot easier to deal with than the grief of losing a loved one of many years.
You can do it! You can get over this guy! The sooner you move on the faster you can meet someone new!
Think of the possibilities and go get 'im tiger!