Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Daddies -- or not!

What exactly is a daddy? I'm completely confused as to how old a man is supposed to be before he's considered a daddy? Thank you. 

The term "daddy" was originally meant to be a gay man who was also a senior citizen, that is a man who is either retired or on social security, early to mid-sixties or older. It was separate from the term "sugar daddy" -- a man with bucks who supports a young man -- although the two can sometimes be the same. 

Now the term "daddy" has pretty much become meaningless and simply means an older man. This doesn't necessarily mean middle-aged, either. On the gay dating site Daddyhunt the "daddies" often look like 32-year-old porn stars (and often are). But guys in their twenties think of these thirty-somethings as "older men" -- in other words, daddies. Of course this is ridiculous. The site Silver Daddies and some well-known "bear" sites actually feature attractive mature men -- mature meaning at least forty and frequently older, including seniors -- but Daddyhunt is pretty much just a silly marketing tool. It's from the same people as Manhunt and isn't much different. 

I imagine in time the whole "daddy" concept will go back to what it meant originally. In any case, it's just another indication of age discrimination -- the truly older guy can't get a break. 

32-year-old "daddies" indeed!

Bears vs. Chubbies

Is there a distinction between bears and chubbies or chubby chasers?

Yes, a bear is a gay man with facial and body hair. The stereotypical bear is a big man -- not necessarily fat -- but a large, bear-like furry guy. However, the bear community has expanded into different kinds of bears. Bear cubs are younger men, daddy bears are older men (generally seniors), chubby bears are portly guys, and muscle bears are hairy guys with big arms and chests. Otters are bears who are more slender than the average bear; wolves are skinny guys with hair.

It often seems that the chubby chaser movement has completely overtaken the bear movement. Bears were never just supposed to be "fat guys," but people often -- wrongly -- see bears as men who are quite obese or even morbidly obese. These, of course, are chubby bears, not regular bears. (And let's face it, most muscle bears are really chubby bears, their bellies being a much more distinctive feature than the size of their arms.)

When it comes to bears I think a hairy body (as well as a beard or goatee) matters much more than the size of the belly.