Sunday, June 27, 2010


I have a backlog of questions that I'll be answering in the next couple of weeks, but for now let me simply say:





Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Gay/LGBT Pride

June is LGBT PRIDE MONTH. We should be productive and help those people that are anti- gay about anything, become more aware of the Gay Community. Let's take the time this month to educate those around us about the LGBT Community, who we are, what we do and how all we want to do is live our lives in peace and not in fear. Please take an hour, a day or even a week this month. Open up your show/blog to this topic, since it is the month for awareness for all LGBT people in this country who just want what everyone else has: their human rights to live in this country as all other people do.

Excellent idea! It has been said that gay people are more accepted in this country not just because of the tireless efforts of activists, but because more and more "ordinary" people have come out of the closet. The more people who know that they have a gay relative, friend or co-worker, especially one whom they like and admire, the better the chances for acceptance. It is hoped that bloggers, gay and straight, will address this issue.

I recognize that some people, especially young people who may live at home with homophobic parents, can't come out. But I do get tired of excuses from older people who make their own living. One of the worst excuses is "I can't hurt my parents." How is coming out going to hurt your parents? It may educate them instead. Besides, many parents already know that their children are gay [I mean a 55 year-old-man who hasn't been on a date with a woman in thirty years -- come on!].

If you come out you may get razzed by co-workers or you may enlighten them, and discover that some friends and co-workers you never even suspected were gay -- it does happen -- will come out of the closet as well.

Anti-gay prejudice was particularly rife in those days when people thought the gay community only consisted of "a few guys in Greenwich Village." But there are millions of us. The more Out and Proud people there are in our community, the better for all of us. I understand that some people think of it as a private issue, but by hiding their sexuality they're missing an opportunity to provide support to gay acquaintances and education to straight ones. And let's make it clear that by coming out you are not discussing the intimate details of your sex life anymore than a person is who declares him or herself as hetero.

And we need to deal with those masses of fringe homosexuals who live in the closet, pretend they are straight, and just can't bring themselves to identify as gay due to deep-rooted shame and guilt. Some of these people immerse themselves in gay culture but still can't come out of the closet. If you know someone like that, suggest they get counseling. At least talk to them. Tell them It's Okay to Be Gay!

There are many gay/LGBT bloggers out there, many of whom are anonymous, some of whom are out, like me. I recognize that the Internet can seem like a big, scary place and some people are afraid to put themselves -- their real selves -- out there in cyberspace, but at least on one post during Gay Pride month these bloggers should identify themselves. I mean how can you talk about Gay Pride and remain anonymous. as if you've got something to be ashamed of?

Social Drinker?

I have a friend who I feel is drinking himself to death. I seemed to get through to him and he stopped drinking for awhile, but recently he told me that if he wants to drink he'll drink, and that's that. I want to do an intervention, but some other of his friends think I'm making too much of it and that he just likes to party. But he has told me that he has been very depressed lately because he is out of work. So he shouldn't be spending what little money he has on booze. I also think he's never quite accepted that he's gay. He says -- and some of his friends say -- that he's just a social drinker, but I know better. Anon.

You bring up a variety of issues in your question, but I'll try to address them.

First, there are people who drink heavily during difficult periods -- such as after the death of a loved one, or losing an important job. Your friend is depressed and wants to feel better, hence the partying, socializing -- and drinking. He doesn't want to sit home alone brooding. Still, whether he's a genuine alcoholic -- which is debatable in this instance -- or has a "drinking problem" in that he drinks way too much [I mean, your liver doesn't know the difference], there's only so much you can do. He's a grown man, and this may just be a phase. If you feel his drinking will ruin his chances of finding work, you can tactfully make that point to him -- when he's sober -- because eventually he'll have no money to party.

As for any shame he's suffering because he's gay: there are certainly people who drink heavily because they can't deal with their sexuality. The question is: is he drinking because he's depressed and out of work, because he can't deal with his homosexuality, or because -- as most of his other friends feel -- he just wants to have a good time? I suggest you give it some time to see what develops, and as this is Gay Pride month you might have a talk with him -- again when he's sober -- about how he feels about being gay, and suggest counseling at a local gay center if he needs help in feeling good about himself.