Monday, January 7, 2008

Cruising Roommates

I recently spent a very nice night with a man who has a roommate -- not a lover. I run into the roommate in the bars a lot and we find each other attractive, too. My question is -- is it bad form, tacky, for me to go home with a trick's roommate, especially as it's only been a week or so. How long should I wait? Or should I just stick to the first guy? B in Boston.

That depends. Was this a one-night-stand or is the first guy someone you want to keep seeing? If that's the case, then "dating" -- or sleeping with -- his roommate may not be the best idea. It may be fun to have two guys competing for your favors, but it won't be fun for them and, ultimately, it won't be much fun for you, either.

Are you certain these two are only "roommates?" Sometimes guys have a kind of loose, open relationship, but it's still a relationship. I assume they have separate bedrooms. Since the first guy didn't ask the roommate to hop in for a threesome, he really may not like you dating the other guy.

One thing I suggest is that you ask the other guy exactly what's going on, and if he feels sleeping with you would cause problems with his roommate. You can always wait until the first guy is out of town.

By the way, has the second guy actually asked you home yet? You may be attracted to each other but that doesn't mean he plans to poach on his roommate's preserve.

And as always, baby -- stick to safe sex!

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