Why do so many women seem to want to date gay men? I can't tell you how often a woman has introduced me to her boyfriend and he seems like a big queen to me. What's up with that? R.
Okay, LOL. Yes, there are men who jump right off the gaydar screen and who have girlfriends. We have to remember that just as there are many gay men who are very non-stereotypical and masculine, there are straight guys who are kind of "girlish;" they're not always gay, believe it or not (okay, okay, maybe one or two aren't). On the other hand, there are many closeted gay men who have girlfriends, and the girlfriends deal with it in several ways. Either they are so in love with the guy that they don't care (a kind of pathetic "he can fuck a guy now and then as long as he comes home to me" attitude); they wishfully perceive him as a bi guy who happened to fall in love with a woman and will never need sex with a man again; or they've convinced themselves -- simply because they have sex -- that he can't possibly be gay no matter how many stereotypical traits he may have. Some women always have a sneaking suspicion about their boyfriends, while others haven't got a clue.
Probably some women prefer "effeminate" men (gay or straight) because they think they can bond with them easier than they can with a "macho" type, that they'll be more sensitive, caring, "womanly." There is no good reason to assume that this is the case, of course. Then we still have pathetic women with pre-Stonewall mind-sets, who think the ultimate challenge or test of their "womanhood" is to go to bed with a gay guy. I once met a woman who "collected" gay boyfriends, the ultimate "fag hag." Some effeminate men are so handsome that the women want them no matter what.
This is the 21st century. There are plenty of perfectly nice straight guys (not to mention the bi-identified) for straight women to play around with. They should leave the gay gays alone.
Gay men should be with gay men.