Gay Bears and Anal Sex

I noticed that gay bears like anal sex just like other gays. Usually stockier (includes bodybuilders) men eat what I call a "rough diet" from what I understand. So with that in mind, how do bear bottoms "clean" themselves? How are their douching and eating techniques good enough to possibly enjoy anal sex? One time when I wasn't 100% clean, the doors wouldn't even open. Thank you for answering my dated, oblivious [?] question.
  
Okayyyy ...  well this is probably a dated and obvious -- or even oblivious -- answer, but I assume bears take thorough showers like everyone else. Even men with hair both outside and inside their ass can do a good job of cleaning themselves with plenty of soap and a strong stream of water. In between showers things are a bit more problematic, but if you're going to take someone home with you and think there may be a problem, you can suggest you both shower both before sex and after. If you're referring to what your penis might encounter on its way up a rectum, well -- again, that's what condoms and showers [not golden showers, which is something else] are for. If a "rough diet" includes roughage you might not encounter, shall we say, too much of a bad thing when you're pumping away. It's very rare when you fuck a guy not to occasionally get some, well, crud on your dick [or condom]; sorry.

A "Gay" Kiss at 13?

Hi Bill. Okay, so I've been in a serious relationship for a year. When I first met him, I never suspected he'd be gay or of that type. He was a huge flirt towards women. We were both bartenders and saw all the attention he would receive. I wasn't interested at first because I knew the type of guy he was. But I still went for it. We started getting very serious, even moved in together. One day, we were having a conversation about the craziest things we've done and he mentioned to me that when he was 13 he kissed another boy. He said it was because they each had a girl crush, and the two girls dared them to kiss each other in order to able to sleep with them, so they did it, and later scored with the girl. He then told me that later on he found out that it was all a trick because the guy who he kissed WAS gay and liked him. He was upset about it and broke contact with all of them. I felt a little weirded out about it, but took it for what it was. Ever since then, I've been extremely paranoid. I feel very alert about anything he does. I've occasionally seen him glance at other men, like at the beach etc. I've confronted him once and asked "are you gay" and he said "no, I am not gay. I did that with the guy so I could sleep with the girl." Months later, we were having sex when I insisted on talking dirty to each other. Then out of no where he says "let me put it in the ass". I completely stopped and pushed him off of me and began saying "I knew it." A huge fight burst out after that. What caught me off guard was that we had never talked about anal sex. He said his coworker had been talking about them having anal with their girlfriends ans insisted that he should try it with me. We were able to get past that but I still carry this huge paranoia and it isn't fair to neither of us. We do love each other, but I don't think I'll ever feel at ease. What should I do? 

Two points to consider: A.) Giving a guy a quick kiss when he's 13 on a dare does not necessarily make a man gay. Believe me, I can be pretty suspicious, but this doesn't raise any red flags for me. It's the type of silly thing that could easily happen. I think you were, for whatever reason, so freaked out about it that you're interpreting his every action as being, somehow, "gay."

B.) It isn't only gay men who are into anal intercourse. Your boyfriend may be the experimental type who likes to try different sexual positions.That doesn't necessarily add up to homosexuality. Of course you don't have to engage in any sexual activity you don't feel comfortable with, but don't be so uptight that you perceive anything non-missionary as being "perverse." Whether a man is or isn't into things you might consider "kinky" generally has little to do with sexual orientation.

Can I swear to you that your boyfriend isn't attracted to men? No, I can't, but I'd need much more positive evidence before I could tell you that the man in your life is definitely gay.

Straight Boyfriend with Anal Fetish?

I recently found out my ex bf has had his ex gf strap on a dildo and they did him from behind.. He wanted to tell me cuz we are trying to work things out. We did not brake up cuz of this situation...we broke up for different reasons.. He didn't want to tell me while were dating cuz he was scared I would judge him or brake up with him.. I asked him if he had been with men he said no, he said he does not find men attractive. He said he does not need it all the time but he likes it cuz it feels good. I'm not sure how to feel or what to do.. Any suggestion..

Thank you

I have met men with wives or girlfriends who have told me that the ladies in their lives strap on a dildo and penetrate them but these men identify as bisexual and may actually be gay. Sexuality can be confusing and complex, admittedly. All I can say is that many gay men do not like being anally penetrated ["tops"] so it seems odd that a straight man would. Your boyfriend sounds to me like a man who wants to have sex with men [a dildo is just a substitute for a penis] but doesn't see himself as gay or wants to be gay, probably due to what we call internalized homophobia -- his guilt and fear over his homosexual feelings. He could probably use some counseling to help him figure himself out and feel better about his homoerotic feelings. What started out as his girlfriend using a dildo may eventually turn into him seeking out male sex partners. Just to let you know.

Stomach Pain After Anal Sex

Dear Dr. Bill,

I have recently started dating a new guy (he is 23) and we have had anal sex twice now and the day after he gets stomach pain (cramping) and nausea. He does not have diarrhea or anything like that, just the cramps. Last week, he went to the doctor and the doctor gave him a CT scan because the doctor thought it could be Crohn’s disease. My guy did not tell him that he had anal sex the night before, but did tell the doctor he was gay.

He has an appointment with a specialist next month to confirm the diagnosis of Crohn’s. I have a feeling that it is not Crohn’s but that since I am very thick, that I am pumping a lot of air into his bowels and it is gas pain. Last time this happened to him with another guy, the doctor prescribed an antacid and this took the pain away. This time the doctor has prescribed Prednisone. He has decided not to take it, as there are a lot of side effects.

I have been researching this question online with no real answers.

Thank you in advance for your help.

People's systems react differently to anal sex [especially if it's a comparatively new or infrequent experience] and getting gas or nausea is certainly not unusual, or necessarily something to worry about. Undoubtedly this condition will clear up in time. I suggest if this guy sees any more doctors he tells him or her that he engages in anal sex as a bottom, as it will help in their diagnosis. [If he feels he is in any way being judged, he should see another doctor.] As for prednisone, it is prescribed for a great many conditions, including cancer, arthritis, AIDS, etc., often in combination with other drugs, but a doctor would probably not prescribe it for gas or indigestion. The guy may have other medical conditions you may not know about.

Douche for Anal Sex

Hi Dr

I wonder if you can help me and I am fed up with my problem. I douche my arse with a douche connected to the shower. I can spend half an hour cleaning myself only to find during sex I am still shitty. Am I douching too much? Why does the shit keep pushing into the anal tract?I am not really sure how all this works.

I would appreciate your advice.

Thanks

During anal sex there is so much constant and repeated pressure into the rectum that it's nearly impossible for some fecal matter not to wind up on your partner's pole -- or rather, the condom that he uses. Forget about douching and just take a normal shower sometime before and definitely after sex.