Gay Bears and Anal Sex

I noticed that gay bears like anal sex just like other gays. Usually stockier (includes bodybuilders) men eat what I call a "rough diet" from what I understand. So with that in mind, how do bear bottoms "clean" themselves? How are their douching and eating techniques good enough to possibly enjoy anal sex? One time when I wasn't 100% clean, the doors wouldn't even open. Thank you for answering my dated, oblivious [?] question.
  
Okayyyy ...  well this is probably a dated and obvious -- or even oblivious -- answer, but I assume bears take thorough showers like everyone else. Even men with hair both outside and inside their ass can do a good job of cleaning themselves with plenty of soap and a strong stream of water. In between showers things are a bit more problematic, but if you're going to take someone home with you and think there may be a problem, you can suggest you both shower both before sex and after. If you're referring to what your penis might encounter on its way up a rectum, well -- again, that's what condoms and showers [not golden showers, which is something else] are for. If a "rough diet" includes roughage you might not encounter, shall we say, too much of a bad thing when you're pumping away. It's very rare when you fuck a guy not to occasionally get some, well, crud on your dick [or condom]; sorry.

Straight Boyfriend with Anal Fetish?

I recently found out my ex bf has had his ex gf strap on a dildo and they did him from behind.. He wanted to tell me cuz we are trying to work things out. We did not brake up cuz of this situation...we broke up for different reasons.. He didn't want to tell me while were dating cuz he was scared I would judge him or brake up with him.. I asked him if he had been with men he said no, he said he does not find men attractive. He said he does not need it all the time but he likes it cuz it feels good. I'm not sure how to feel or what to do.. Any suggestion..

Thank you

I have met men with wives or girlfriends who have told me that the ladies in their lives strap on a dildo and penetrate them but these men identify as bisexual and may actually be gay. Sexuality can be confusing and complex, admittedly. All I can say is that many gay men do not like being anally penetrated ["tops"] so it seems odd that a straight man would. Your boyfriend sounds to me like a man who wants to have sex with men [a dildo is just a substitute for a penis] but doesn't see himself as gay or wants to be gay, probably due to what we call internalized homophobia -- his guilt and fear over his homosexual feelings. He could probably use some counseling to help him figure himself out and feel better about his homoerotic feelings. What started out as his girlfriend using a dildo may eventually turn into him seeking out male sex partners. Just to let you know.

Anal Issues

I had anal sex with a very well endowed man. Ever since then I have had constant anal pain. It hurts to sit down, once I'm sitting and situated the pain subsides until I move or try to get up. My first BM had blood in the stool and I had have had a constant feeling if having to go #2. I notice that when I wipe there is spots of blood (still). When I went to bed Saturday night I woke up sore and achy with a headache. Also sometimes when I go to urinate I am forced to sit down because I have to BM which is excruciatingly painful. As a seasoned 'bottom' I have never had this before... Should I go to the doctor (I don't have insurance). I'm scared...

I would wait a couple of days and if the bleeding and pain continues you should see a doctor. Do you have hemorrhoids? Anal sex could make them bleed, creating pain, blood in the stool, and often a feeling that you got to do # 2. It may be nothing more serious than that -- they can be pretty painful --  but if it doesn't clear up you should have it checked out. If you think it is hemorrhoids, also known as piles, you can get a cream for it at the drug store. If you do decide to see a doctor, there are low-cost clinics you can go to. If you're in New York, a place called Callen Lorde Community center services the LGBT community, including uninsured, on a sliding scale and there may be similar places in your town if you're in another city. Or you can call a gay center and ask for referrals. Try not to be scared, it may be nothing, but DO check it out if it continues more than a week to ten days, especially if it gets worse or is really painful. 

Should add that the "worse case" scenario could be an anal fissure or tear, which can be caused by anal sex and other reasons. However, in most cases this self-heals within two weeks. Again, hemorrhoid cream can be helpful. So definitely see a doctor if this doesn't clear up in two weeks. Don't worry -- surgery is only required in the most extreme cases, which I doubt you have -- and there are simple ways of healing it without surgery. But in all likelihood it should clear up on its own. And I probably don't need to add -- no anal sex until it does! Bill   

Stomach Pain After Anal Sex

Dear Dr. Bill,

I have recently started dating a new guy (he is 23) and we have had anal sex twice now and the day after he gets stomach pain (cramping) and nausea. He does not have diarrhea or anything like that, just the cramps. Last week, he went to the doctor and the doctor gave him a CT scan because the doctor thought it could be Crohn’s disease. My guy did not tell him that he had anal sex the night before, but did tell the doctor he was gay.

He has an appointment with a specialist next month to confirm the diagnosis of Crohn’s. I have a feeling that it is not Crohn’s but that since I am very thick, that I am pumping a lot of air into his bowels and it is gas pain. Last time this happened to him with another guy, the doctor prescribed an antacid and this took the pain away. This time the doctor has prescribed Prednisone. He has decided not to take it, as there are a lot of side effects.

I have been researching this question online with no real answers.

Thank you in advance for your help.

People's systems react differently to anal sex [especially if it's a comparatively new or infrequent experience] and getting gas or nausea is certainly not unusual, or necessarily something to worry about. Undoubtedly this condition will clear up in time. I suggest if this guy sees any more doctors he tells him or her that he engages in anal sex as a bottom, as it will help in their diagnosis. [If he feels he is in any way being judged, he should see another doctor.] As for prednisone, it is prescribed for a great many conditions, including cancer, arthritis, AIDS, etc., often in combination with other drugs, but a doctor would probably not prescribe it for gas or indigestion. The guy may have other medical conditions you may not know about.

Douche for Anal Sex

Hi Dr

I wonder if you can help me and I am fed up with my problem. I douche my arse with a douche connected to the shower. I can spend half an hour cleaning myself only to find during sex I am still shitty. Am I douching too much? Why does the shit keep pushing into the anal tract?I am not really sure how all this works.

I would appreciate your advice.

Thanks

During anal sex there is so much constant and repeated pressure into the rectum that it's nearly impossible for some fecal matter not to wind up on your partner's pole -- or rather, the condom that he uses. Forget about douching and just take a normal shower sometime before and definitely after sex.

Gay Teen with Questions

I am a gay teen, a virgin. I have no idea about real gay sex; I only read them in stories.

Here are my questions:

1. When having anal sex, doesn't the top feel disgusted when they insert their fingers/cocks into the ass? Don't they will smell like shit or something like that? And when pull it out, doesn't shit will cover it? No, they aren't disgusted, especially if the bottom has showered beforehand and is clean. Sometimes the penis will become covered with some feces, but then they two men can simply shower together.

2. When bottoming, is the pleasure gotten from prostate stimulation same as when we are cumming when jerking off? Some of the pleasure. Is it worth the pain? Most bottoms only feel some pain in the beginning but get used to it.

3. How long does gay sex last? That depends on the participants and on what they like to do. If you include foreplay -- making love [kissing and hugging] leading up to the actual sex act -- it can take hours. Most sex acts -- gay or straight -- take a few minutes up to about half an hour.

4. Does gay sex require condoms? Is it more pleasurable without condoms? All sex, gay or straight, requires condoms these days to protect against HIV infection and other sexually-transmitted diseases. Some men feel it is more pleasurable to engage in sex without a condom, but anyone who "barebacks" today [going without a condom] is being very foolish, especially if they are a bottom. Do not let anyone penetrate you if they aren't wearing a condom. For more information on safe sex and risky sex go to the web site for the Gay Men's Health Crisis.

5. When bottoming, when the top cums inside the ass, is there any side effect?
There is no side effect as such, except that semen carries the HIV virus and therefore condoms should always be worn by the top. [While it is rarer for tops to contract HIV through anal intercourse, there have been cases of this happening.]

6. When rimming, can the tongue really touch the prostate? Actually, how far is the prostate from our entrance? Uh, this is a little technical and while require further research, LOL.

7. Is it true that cumming from sex is more intense than cumming from jerking off? Is it true that when you cum while having sex, the cum is more than while jerking off? An orgasm during sex with another person always seems to have more intensity since you're presumably attracted to the person you're with and getting physical with someone always adds an extra-sexual dimension that you don't get when you're jerking off by yourself. However, this doesn't mean that you ejaculate more sperm. If depends on how long it's been since you last had an orgasm.

8. After having sex, can the guys immediately have the second round? I ask this because after jerking off, my sexual desire instantly disappears; thinking about sex makes me feel disgusted for a while. Some men can immediately have a second round; others can't. It depends on how excited they are. Sexual desire often fades after having an orgasm, but you shouldn't feel "disgusted." Sex isn't disgusting, gay or otherwise, though it may have elements to it that are less appealing than others.

9. While having double penetration, is it true that the pleasure that the bottom receive becomes double? Is it true that the pain is unbearable? If you're talking about two dicks, I wouldn't recommend it. Or fist-fucking, for that matter.

10. Can the bottom cum without any physical stimulation to the cock? Sometimes if a man is very aroused and excited he can cum without his penis being stimulated.


Thanks in advance :)

Your welcome. Hope this helps.