Thursday, April 2, 2009

Gay Nephew Coming Out to Girlfriend

My nephew has realized that he's gay and wants to come out to his girlfriend. Any suggestions? TP.

Well, he could always take her to a gay bar and start making out with the bartender.

Seriously, there's only one way to do this and that's for him to sit her down and have a talk with her. I don't know how long they've been dating or how much she's into your nephew, but this is not something that he should postpone. It may be that the girlfriend will say that she already suspected, or she may be completely surprised. [Which happens more than people imagine. Women frequently say "I would know" but they base this assertion on stereotypes, and most gay men don't conform to them.] Your nephew may be able to turn what was once a potentially romantic relationship -- at least as far as the girlfriend is concerned -- into a solid friendship. Or the girlfriend may have to avoid your nephew in order to get over him.

In any case, it wouldn't be fair for him to string her along. Sadly, some gay guys -- especially those who are struggling to come out or are fresh out of the closet --sort of hold onto the girlfriend until they're comfortable enough with their sexuality to come out to everyone. This is especially true if the guy is very close to the girlfriend; she's his best friend. Meanwhile the girlfriend is making plans for the wedding!

As soon as a guy comes to the incontrovertible conclusion that he's homosexual, it's time to tell the girlfriend that their relationship has to end -- or metamorphose into something entirely different.

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