A strange question: I have a friend whom I've known
for about four years. He is a man, but I have a fairly strong idea that
he might be transgender. He's a great person and I value the friendship
very much, so I don't want to rock the boat, but he has never brought up
the subject that he hasn't always been a man.
I wouldn't say
it's vital for me to know for sure...I would definitely want him as a
friend, regardless. I'm gay but romantic considerations aren't really a
factor here...he has a girlfriend and is thinking of marriage. It's just
that I'm curious, it seems to be limiting the conversation -- there is
an invisible elephant in the room that neither of us is talking about.
I just wait for him to bring it up? Clearly, I can't just say, "You're
transgender, aren't you?" It would be amazingly awkward, even more so if
It's understandable that you're curious about this situation but you're right that it would be awkward -- and worse if he's not transgender. If he is a Trans Man he may be thinking or
hoping that he completely "passes" so you'd also risk shattering his
illusions or confidence. I would wait until he brings it up, which he
may eventually do as you grow closer as friends. Does he know that you're gay? If not, coming out would be a start -- you're both members of the LGBT community
even if he isn't gay apparently. Have you met the woman he's going to
marry? She may turn out to be transgender as well, which would be
another sign. Not that all transgender people pair up with other Trans Men or Women, but it does happen, especially if they want a partner who will understand them and be non-judgmental.
Just hope that some day he'll take you into his confidence.