Monday, April 16, 2012

Boyfriend and Erotic Video Games

My boyfriend and I enjoy playing video games together. One game we play is World of Warcraft. He has several female toons on his account and explains that they are more visually appealing than the male ones. I have no problem with this. Recently I logged on to the game and saw him on one of his female toons erping (erotic role playing) with another male player. I have also discovered that he has gotten a few emails from male players, all of whom believe he is female. Some have sexual content and pictures attached, but not sexually explicit pictures. I asked my boyfriend in a non threatening way if he was bi. His answer was "I don't believe so". In the past, before this discovery, he has said he doesn't understand why men erotic role play as females with other men. Is it possible he is bi? Our own relationship is very sexually satisfying for both of us so I'm surprised about this latest discovery.

Your boyfriend is playing games in virtual reality -- not, as far as you know, having sex with men in the real world -- so you may be jumping to conclusions about his sexuality. As I've said before, red flags are finding gay porn or some type of gay literature in his apartment -- either magazines or on his computer -- finding out he's signed up with gay dating sites, sexy emails from guys that he's clearly met in the flesh or would like to, or his paying more attention to a good-looking waiter or bartender than he does to you. Yes, his role-playing as a female character could be a way to attract guys, only the trouble is they're straight guys, so obviously nothing much could come of it. Also most gay men don't want to masquerade as women -- they take pride in their masculinity. 

However, his answer of "I don't believe so" when you asked him if he was bi is a little strange. Not to make too much of what may be nothing, but it's not exactly a definitive "No." You may have to approach the subject again, keeping in mind that for most men who call themselves bi, "bisexual" is just a convenient label and a cop-out.

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