Women and Gay Men

One thing has become clear to me since I started this blog.

Whether they think of themselves as gay, bi or straight, there are still a lot of guys in the closet and who are in denial of their true sexuality.

And there are a great number of women who either have gay boyfriends or even husbands, or are afraid that they do. [I rarely hear from men who are afraid their wives or girlfriends are lesbians.]

It would be all too easy to dismiss these letters out of hand, but I recognize that these women are confused -- it's their lives and futures they're worried about. No one wants to invest a lot of time in a relationship only to discover that it's a sham. Some women are deeply conflicted because on one hand they are in love and want to have happy, healthy marriages, but on the other, they don't want a possibly gay partner to be repressed and miserable and in the closet.

Below are a sample of some of the letters. Some of the situations are very similar, and others have their own unique aspects.

Gay Men and Disco?

Why are all gay men into disco regardless of age? Anon.

LOL, do you mean the age of the gay man or the age of the disco record?

To my knowledge -- which is considerable -- most gay men these days are not into disco. Even back in the days when disco was popular, not every gay man was into disco. Just like not every gay man is into opera or into show tunes. Some like jazz, rap, big bands, what-have-you. Some gay guys don't care for music at all.

I've no doubt there are gay men today who fondly remember the disco era -- and perhaps their youth -- and still enjoy listening to their collection of disco records now and then.

Okay, when the Tramps [or was it Trammps?] came out with their record Where the Happy People Go -- I believe that was one of the first big disco hits, but don't quote me -- it was widely assumed that "Happy" meant Gay, but it could also have been Happy meaning Happy. My recollection is that plenty of straight people went to discos back in the day.

I'm old enough to remember "Body Contact Contract" and Donna Summer's "Try Me." [Of course I was just a wee babe at the time! I was always the cutest little kid at the disco!]