A Gay Guy and the Gals

Very recently a girl I know told me that she felt something for me. I obviously shot her down since I've got a boyfriend [not all of my friends know about this; most are friends my boyfriend and I have in common]. She was surprised, and we talked it over. At first I thought it was just one of the many one-time things that occur in life until in a period of nine days two other [girl] friends of mine did the same, one of whom cried -- and this just borders on the ridiculous. I never got so much attention in such a short time before! I mean, does this simply confirm the stereotype that all girls like gay men? Or is it that they can somehow sense that I'm no longer available and that therefore makes me more attractive to them?

While it may be unusual that three people -- all women -- should declare their love for -- or at least their attraction to -- you in a two-week period or so, I don't know if it means that all or most women are attracted to gay men. It may just mean that you're an attractive fellow who isn't obviously gay -- you say you haven't told most of your friends that you're gay [maybe you should] -- so the girls don't know that you've got a fella. Since they clearly didn't realize that you were gay, it can't be this "attraction" women supposedly have for gay men that's responsible.

There are women who are drawn to gay men. They used to be called "fag hags," a term that is dated and offensive [to both women and gay men]. Some of these women have low self-esteem and feel gay men won't size them up and judge them the way straight men will. Others are women who haven't come to terms with their lesbianism and hang out with gay guys until they feel comfortable enough to be with gay women.

In any case, this really only means that you're a good-lookin' dude who is appealing to both men and women. Unfortunately for the ladies who like you, you play for the other team. They'll get over it.