Monday, January 31, 2011

Gal with Gay Boyfriend?

I am a straight female and a little confused about my boyfriend's orientation. A week ago he told me his friend (they are good friends) slept over and his sister said to him, " I wouldn't be surprised if you and your friend got married." Yesterday I got a message from his friend saying that '"your boyfriend may be secretly gay." At school one time I saw them hugging after I headed to class and thought it was a joke. I have tried to ask him a few times and his response was a sad face T_T and that I am thinking silly things. What other things can I do ?

Hugging and sleepovers and phone messages don't necessarily add up to a gay relationship. It's possible that these people are having fun with your fears. Then, it's also possible that your boyfriend may be attracted to other men. [For now we won't get into gay or bi.]

When he's in a receptive mood, you can simply start a conversation on homosexuality, gay friends, gay marriage -- something along those lines. The important thing is to get the discussion started. You can slowly work your way into his sexuality, but you must make it clear that you are not accusing him of anything, and that you think being gay is okay [which I hope you do]. The important thing is to keep him from getting defensive.

As his girlfriend, you certainly have a right to know if there's something going on between him and this male friend of his. It's not a question of being judgmental, but of knowing exactly where you stand and what kind of future you can realistically expect with him. You have a right to ask what's up.

Good Luck!

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