I realize that the point of the bear movement is to recognize that men who may not be conventionally attractive can still have appeal to many. But doesn't the bear movement also encourage an unhealthy lifestyle? I see all these very fat guys and can't imagine that being so overweight is good for them. What do you think?
I think you have a point. Of course we have to remember that there are out of shape people who live till 90 and 45-year-olds who stay fit and trim yet still drop dead of a heart attack on the tennis court. So much of it has to do with genes and other aspects of one's lifestyle.
The stereotypical bear is basically a big, jolly, fat guy [without getting into Santa Claus]. But there are many types of bears -- muscle bears, bear cubs, otters [thinner bears -- my classification but I have to watch the calories to stay within it], and so on. A bear is simply a gay guy with hair on his face and body. Many bears do go to the gym.
But I do think the -- for lack of a better word -- obsession some men have over very large men has its downside. As men grow older it is still important to stay in shape. If a fat bear loses weight he may lose some admirers -- the chubby chasers, for instance -- but hopefully he will gain a whole lot more.
Showing posts with label bear culture. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bear culture. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Do Bears Predominate?
Is bear culture taking over the whole gay community? Why do gay men feel they have to butch it up all the time? Anon.
Uh, many gay guys just happen to be "butch" (very masculine -- or at least not effeminate); some are not. Most -- like straight men -- are somewhere in between.
No gay man who isn't butch should feel a need to "butch it up" if he doesn't want to. Everyone should feel free to be themselves. It's all about accepting yourself for who or what you are. You don't have to be butch or ultra-masculine to be happy.
Some men feel a need to come on strong, macho, when they enter a bar that has a decidedly masculine atmosphere. Some guys overdo it. They may already be butch enough, so they think that being rude, stepping on people's feet, and acting like a jerk, makes them more macho. Straight guys do this, too. Gay or straight, a jerk is a jerk.
As for bear culture taking over, I think it's really that -- in some places, at least -- people are beginning to realize that there's more to the gay male community than the proverbial "limp-wristed hairdresser." [Hell, there's more to the hairdresser's community.] You might think that in this day and age everyone is more sophisticated about the diversity of our community, but you'd be surprised how many supposedly hip people (including some gays) still think in terms of stereotypes.
[Just the other night a man in a gay bar said to two other customers. "I'm not into sports. Gay men are not into sports." The two other men vigorously disagreed, as both were baseball fans.]
Gay men, like all men, are into whatever the hell they want to be. [I admit that it's a distinct possibility that gay men in general feel freer to explore options -- art and culture, for instance -- that some straight men may cut themselves off from out of their own fears and insecurities. But let me make it clear that there are many hetero men who are not ashamed to be seen at the ballet or opera -- good for them! -- and some gay men who wouldn't be caught dead in such venues. Too bad!]
The emergence of bear culture means that the definition of attractiveness has been expanded to include men that the more stereotypical gay males supposedly eschew: hairy guys, chubby guys, guys who don't dress in color-coordinated outfits or designer clothing. People are learning that there's more to the gay male community than willowy young queens [not to put those guys down].
Don't look at this as a bad thing. People need to learn that gay men come in all shapes, sizes, and attitudes. We are literally everywhere!
Bear culture will not supplant or destroy non-bear gay culture. It will compliment it.
Butch or femme, feel free to be yourself. And recognize that everyone has a special niche in the gay community.
And that we're all gay brothers.
Uh, many gay guys just happen to be "butch" (very masculine -- or at least not effeminate); some are not. Most -- like straight men -- are somewhere in between.
No gay man who isn't butch should feel a need to "butch it up" if he doesn't want to. Everyone should feel free to be themselves. It's all about accepting yourself for who or what you are. You don't have to be butch or ultra-masculine to be happy.
Some men feel a need to come on strong, macho, when they enter a bar that has a decidedly masculine atmosphere. Some guys overdo it. They may already be butch enough, so they think that being rude, stepping on people's feet, and acting like a jerk, makes them more macho. Straight guys do this, too. Gay or straight, a jerk is a jerk.
As for bear culture taking over, I think it's really that -- in some places, at least -- people are beginning to realize that there's more to the gay male community than the proverbial "limp-wristed hairdresser." [Hell, there's more to the hairdresser's community.] You might think that in this day and age everyone is more sophisticated about the diversity of our community, but you'd be surprised how many supposedly hip people (including some gays) still think in terms of stereotypes.
[Just the other night a man in a gay bar said to two other customers. "I'm not into sports. Gay men are not into sports." The two other men vigorously disagreed, as both were baseball fans.]
Gay men, like all men, are into whatever the hell they want to be. [I admit that it's a distinct possibility that gay men in general feel freer to explore options -- art and culture, for instance -- that some straight men may cut themselves off from out of their own fears and insecurities. But let me make it clear that there are many hetero men who are not ashamed to be seen at the ballet or opera -- good for them! -- and some gay men who wouldn't be caught dead in such venues. Too bad!]
The emergence of bear culture means that the definition of attractiveness has been expanded to include men that the more stereotypical gay males supposedly eschew: hairy guys, chubby guys, guys who don't dress in color-coordinated outfits or designer clothing. People are learning that there's more to the gay male community than willowy young queens [not to put those guys down].
Don't look at this as a bad thing. People need to learn that gay men come in all shapes, sizes, and attitudes. We are literally everywhere!
Bear culture will not supplant or destroy non-bear gay culture. It will compliment it.
Butch or femme, feel free to be yourself. And recognize that everyone has a special niche in the gay community.
And that we're all gay brothers.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)